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Our Child King Is Handsome and Wise as Proven by His New Decree! He Is Definitely Not a Petty Baby!

Hark! Hark!

Our baby sovereign, our imperial child, swaddled within the verified robes of his Twitter Blue empire has made yet one more proclamation!

This time our holy, childish ruler has declared that, as he’s operating a “social market of concepts” and as he’s a agency believer in “free speech,” (until it’s offering “assassination coordinates” like documenting the arrival and departure of his royal carriage at varied places!) he has determined that these of his trustworthy topics keen to pay the brand new $8 tithe will henceforth be capable to strike again on the imply, previous, aristocracy (a ruling class as soon as made up of celebrities, journalists, comedians, and the odd social media supervisor) by utilizing their “voices” to downvote – I imply throw these crusty, “Legacy” blue bloods, and anybody else who attracts their ire, into the shares!

That is positively a noble activity our toddler tyrant has taken on and never a petty backlash to the ceaseless critiques and open mockery he has confronted since ascending the throne. He’s definitely not throwing mood tantrums! He is an efficient and calm king who solely acts out of benevolence and never as a result of he has some gassy-wassy that has upset his royal tum-tum! He has by no means accomplished one thing hypocritical and egregious like exiling members of the press for writing factual tales about him! I imply, look he mentioned they could come back final evening, okay? And he has definitely never stormed out of court as a result of his royal aides requested him some fundamental questions on his new legal guidelines! He simply had a widdle poopy in his diaper and wanted it modified! The King can’t spend all day with these boring previous uggos and their tricksy interrogations! The King won’t be questioned in such an impertinent method by such lowly peasants!

However the King can also be sensible and good and needs to offer all the ability to the individuals! Which is why he’s so correctly making all the selections for them after studying the outcomes of their polls! He’s even keen to have them vote time and again and once more, not as a result of he needs a distinct reply, however as a result of he’s that devoted to creating certain their voice is heard! 

And his new royal decree is only one extra measure to spite the folks that hold his web site alive – I imply, proceed to amplify the desire of his commonwealth! And it definitely gained’t have any adverse penalties, aside from these imply previous Legacy trolls and the “bots” our nice chief is so involved with! It’s solely they who shall be despatched all the way down to the midden heap and never anybody else that his trustworthy topics may determine to focus on! It definitely gained’t change our kingdom into that terrifying “Reddit” our nephews and youthful siblings hold venturing into!

And so, as our lovely, good-looking, royal, child boy with a pure and full head of hair says, Voxx populi, voxx dei! Now somebody come decide him up as a result of it his time for his burpies and his afternoon nap!

(Picture: Dimitrios Kambouris, Getty Photographs for The Met Museum / Vogue)

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